The War of Art

The War of Art

Have you read that book? The War of Art? It's all about how it'll never be easy to start working, resistance to writing/doing your art is like gravity--it's just there EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU WANT TO START. The author's solution? Start anyway. Dick.

I can't start my work because:

  1. I need a cup of coffee.
  2. I have to call my sister.
  3. I can't find my good Sharpie.
  4. I spent last night with a man friend and I didn't really sleep well and even though I slept all day today, I'm still really tired. Plus, we had one of those shitty conversations reminding each other that we both sleep with other people and I had to admit, again, that I want to sleep with whomever I want but I want the people who sleep with me to only sleep with me and then I had to apologize for being narcissistic and childish.
  5. I don't like this shirt.
  6. My mother died when I was five.
  7. I didn't finish college and I still have $45,000 in student loan debt.
  8. One of my back teeth feels weird.
  9. We haven't worked through my procrastination in therapy and I recently fired my therapist because she charged me $60 for a late cancellation when I gave 18 hours notice, not 24. Bitch.
  10. I just started reading a really good Seventies self-help relationship book, When Lovers Are Friends.
  11. I ate too many Nutter Butters.
  12. I had to buy ANOTHER (4th) MacBook cord because even though I hid it in my purse, Tina put her little fucking cat head in there and chewed it up. Billy said he saw her over by the purse once and heard that, "hanh, hanh" sound that cats make when they are chewing something but he assumed she was chewing on the purse strap like usual so he didn't investigate plus, it's not his purse, it's not his apartment, and she's not his cat, so why should he?
  13. I have to make a colonoscopy appointment.
  14. I'm out of Splenda.
  15. My allergies are bad and I'm out of Sudafed.
  16. There are a lot of younger writers who are far more successful than me and my resentments make me too tired to do my own work.
  17. It's already late.
  18. I have too much to do and if I start, I'll get overwhelmed and need a nap and then I won't get anything done anyway.
  19. I'm getting too many unnecessary texts from over-texters but I can't resist checking their texts and trying to figure out which emoji will express that I've received the message but do not want to encourage another text from them.
  20. There are these mysterious scratchy places on the corners of my laptop, right where my wrists sit when I'm typing.
  21. My sister has TWO Pulitzer prizes, so why should I even try to write at all? I'll never be as good as her AND she's thin, beautiful, and rich. 
  22. I really want to write fiction but when I was in a fiction workshop 13 years ago, a guy laughed at the orgy scene in my story about a witch.
  23. My father shamed me for writing poetry.
  24. My stepmother told me that people only write poetry when they are going crazy.
  25. My cat always bites my pen.
  26. It's midnight and I really want mashed potatoes but I don't have any of the stuff to make them and even if I did, I don't feel like cooking.
  27. I have a blister on my hand from kettlebell.
  28. I miss making zines but I'm 47 and that would be gross and sad if I started doing it.
  29. My life drawing skills are out of shape and I'm losing my mind trying to draw lips.* *I know this was in one of my last lists but it's still driving me crazy.
  30. I just accidentally banged my hand really hard.
  31. Hasn't everything I write already been written better by someone in the 19th and 20th centuries?
  32. I want to go to Target.
  33. I have to bake and decorate cookies for Rebecca's parent's 50th wedding anniversary party on Saturday and I have to do research on Pinterest for decoration ideas.
  34. I'm not sure I can come up with 100 things for this list but because I've made a couple like that, I feel like they all have to be that long so I know I'll be tired by the time I finish this and I won't be able to start writing. 
  35. I forgot to make an intention for the new moon last Saturday, so everything feels kind of aimless.
  36. My apartment is relatively clean and it's freaking me out.
  37. It's late and I have kettlebell tomorrow at 6:30am.
  38. I can't get comfortable.
  39. I could probably get started if I went to the cafe but they play loud music at night and I'm wearing cargo shorts.
  40. I can't think of anything good to write about and I don't want to work on the surgeon's biography even though it's due on 6/30.
  41. Sighing heavily is not helping.
  42. I'm hot but if I turn the air on my toes get cold really fast.
  43. I forgot to meditate today and now it's too late.
  44. I've had low-grade anxiety for the last two days and I don't know if it's pms or actual impending doom.
  45. I keep zoning out, staring at the bookcase, and then snapping out of it and thinking that the world already has enough books.
  46. I need to bleach my mustache.
  47. All I want to do is crochet but I don't need anymore scarves and that's all I know how to do.
  48. Do I even need to say it? Cat/kitten videos.
  49. I want some pretzels.
  50. I can't even finish this list, how do I expect to write anything?
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